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Self-Discipline Gets You What You Want: 7 Ways How

Self-Discipline Gets You What You Want: 7 Ways How

When I was younger taking Taekwondo with my cousins after school, I would go to win trophies at competitions. However, I didn’t like fighting or “sparring”. In this class, there were pillar concepts painted on the gym walls. One of those concepts was “self-discipline”. Today, I want to navigate how self-discipline gets you what you want.

More importantly, why it works.

Here are the 7 key insights to mastering self-discipline. And how it can help you master your life:

1. Self-Discipline Gets You What You Want By Narrowing Your Focus

We are energetic beings having a human experience. You can call that your “soul”, but if you aren’t spiritually inclined, consider that the seat of your reality is governed by electrical impulses in your brain—which is still energy. And as the first law of Thermodynamics states, “Energy can’t be created or destroyed, it simply transfers form.”

The energy within us contains potentials and possibilities we can’t comprehend. Especially with our perceived limits and conditioning.

Using self-discipline helps you get what you want, because as Tony Robbins states, “Where your attention goes, energy flows.” Check out my previous post on this simple, yet overlooked, law of life.

2. By Narrowing Your Focus, You Increase Energy

For example, let’s consider the power of light. Broadly speaking, light is beautiful: it illuminates our visual experience; can play with shadows to create depth, and gives us the experience of an array of hues and saturation of color.

What happens when you increase the focus, concentration, and density of light?

You increase its energy. Ultimately, you can feel this heat (like putting a magnifying glass up to the sun and concentrating it to create heat/start a fire). We also know this as “lasers”.

Self-discipline is like taking a light source and concentrating it to the point it creates and affects matter in a powerful way.

3. Self-Discipline Gets You What You Want Because Results Are Manifested By Choice

Ultimately, our entire lives are the result of the choices and sacrifices we make. Every action causes a reaction: otherwise known as consequence.

And consequences can be either “good” or “bad”. “Beneficial” or “unbeneficial”.

I have this saying: “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” Life isn’t about doing anything and everything in front of us, just because it’s there. Moreover, being opportunistic—especially when it compromises ourselves or those important to us—is the sure-fire way to know the worst parts of your capabilities.

The most important part of life isn’t how another person knows you…but how you know yourself

4. Because “Character Is What You Do When No One Is Looking” – John Wooden

Self-discipline is about being aware of your impulses, and not always giving in to them just because you “felt” it. Consider that life isn’t about seeking highs and hedonistic pleasures.

While you can submit to them each and every time, the only thing this continuous habitual choice pattern does is expose your addictive personality.

Addictions are harmful because even though the empirical evidence shows self-destruction, a person is still willing to sacrifice their integrity & dignity for their vice. True, addictions can be managed to be placed in a healthier direction. However, for the most part, addicts have also psychologically convinced themselves they will die without their vice.

Whether that be drugs, gambling, sex, etc. Character is a choice. Self-discipline—or lack of it—is the belief behind the choice. 

5. Self-Discipline Gets You What You Want By Proving To Yourself Who You Are

I have a pet-peeve of those who self-identify with labels they can’t live up to. For example, “I’m a good person,” are words…an opinion. Facts are proven with action.

Furthermore, you can’t just wake up and start using labels that have no meaning, proof, or substance behind them.

What’s the purpose behind proving to yourself who you actually are? Because we set the level of what we deserve. Most people don’t realize that every choice is an internalization of what we think of ourselves—making us receptive to some things and not to other things.

Self-discipline gets you what you want by giving you proof that you deserve your wins. Authentically and sincerely.

6. Self-Discipline Makes You Reliable

When others can depend on you this builds your confidence and self-esteem. More importantly, helps you love yourself deeply. And not from a place of arrogance or vanity, but because you are a quality asset to every circumstance the world has to offer.

Sadly, most don’t operate from this mindset. They depend on what they can get and have become masters of scamming others: of their time, energy, and effort.

If others can rely on you, then you have mastered the value of trustworthiness & communication—valued assets in any relationship.

7. Self-Discipline Gets You What You Want By Inspiring Yourself…And Others

Tapping into our power isn’t some farfetched “woo woo” liberal new-age agenda. Instead, it’s about living a life leading through example. Qualities of leadership are mistaken for simply having the authoritative job title, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Leadership is about how one inspires others to experience their best qualities. And not about a sadistic pleasure from shouting down, humiliating, overworking, or laying a heavy hand to their subordinates.

Leadership is a collaborative effort and relationship to those they lead. A leader needs their followers, as much as followers need their leaders. The magic isn’t from the separation of these entities, but what is produced between the two when they are aligned, vibing, and totally in sync.

Because followers are inspired by their leaders: they are loyal to them; worship them; protect and defend them. And leaders are humbled & inspired by their followers for trusting them with their time and effort—sometimes even their own lives.


Ultimately, self-discipline gets you what you want because there exists an honor when choices are made not just made purely for your benefit. Let’s think about how this could change the nature of dating; relationships; workplace; health; wellness; lifestyle; etc.

“Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should,” is a mantra you should use…or inspire others to utilize in their own lives. Because while we are entitled to do whatever serves us to how we please, it doesn’t always have to be at the calls of selfishness, betrayal, hurt, or pain.

Above all, know that the real winners in life are those with a good heart. People love to overuse that word and label, but have no weight or substance behind it—essentially representing themselves falsely, a fraud, and a time-waster.

Keep your real ones close. Be grateful and validate their importance in your life. Good people aren’t easy to come by. 


Stay Well & Vibe Well,

– Liana

One-on-One Coaching!
find out more at:
Liana Estillore Thorn Relationship Coach Wellness Coach Spiritual Coach

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