Have you ever held in something you wanted to release & express? And have you ever done so for a long time? Let me rephrase this: have you ever known someone who is a “bottler” and usually not capable of easily saying what’s on their mind?
I’m sure many of you do.
Today we are going to explore the power of catharsis. Why “bottling” emotions is hugely ineffective. And why release is healthy.
Catharsis: Release! It’s Natural
Everything on and in your body is releasing something: the skin releases waste and sebum through its pores; eyes release tears when sad or engaged in epic laughter; cells release metabolic waste, and we all know the most obvious release—gas!
Your mind works in the same way too. The mind is busy constantly expressing itself through thoughts. And we release those thoughts in the form of spoken language or action.
Catharsis: No Release = Constipation
When you experience blockages in the body, you are constipated. If you’ve ever experienced constipation, it’s not an enjoyable experience. It’s both painful…and humbling.
The problem with constipation is blockages create stagnation.
Stagnation is festering: rotting, decaying, so on, and so forth.
Can Emotions Become Constipated?
Yes! And this is where the illness of “bottling” comes into play. People who bottle perform a toxic behavior which causes a severe stagnation of their thoughts. These thoughts fester, and anything which festers is rotting.
So what happens? This festering pile of thoughts then becomes an unbearable mess in one’s mind. Anytime anything toxic is held onto the inside of the body, it causes disease. Break that down into: dis ease.
Their body becomes uncomfortable with all the built-up unexpressed thoughts and seeks one thing: release.
Catharsis & Honesty
Honesty is not just a dignified gift you give to another—it’s one you also give to yourself. Because each time you don’t express something which is honest, you are creating the above scenario of constipation. All of the pent up and unexpressed thoughts.
And like what is stated, this leads to dis ease.
Catharsis: The Volcano Has Erupted
This is what it feels like when a bottler finally expresses themselves. They dig up, scrape, and scrape some more waste from the past—their minds literally trying to scrub every corner of itself—to cleanse itself. After all, what they carry is toxic stagnant waste.
When you are the receiver of this explosion, it feels very intense. It’s literally “throwing the baby out with the bathwater”. A very long and detailed list of past penalties will be thrown at you.
But The Ashes Which Remain Help No One
Bottlers tend to explain their behavior as a desire to reduce conflict in relationships. But, this is not the case at all. Because only intense conflict would result after toxic waste is spewed at…anyone.
What is left are deeper wounds. And these take extra effort and support to heal.
Catharsis: Nip It In The Bud
In any relationship of any form—intimate, personal, professional—bring problems up as they arise.
When you approach things as they come, you don’t allow the build-up of internalized issues leading to constipation, then stagnation.
And remember, it should always be you and your partner/team/etc. against the problem. Not against each other.
Catharsis: Bottling Is NOT “Easy Going”
There is a common misconception that bottling things up, it makes you “easy-going”. No. It just makes you ineffective at communication…and a volcanic liability.
Do you know what “easy going” to me is? Someone who is so effective with how they handle themselves, they are willing to speak their minds immediately—mindful of tone and how they express themselves—that they can easily and quickly maneuver past issues…because they’re so good at cooperatively solving them.
Because Procrastination Causes Internal Anxiety
When you don’t solve things on the spot, they harbor and coast into your future. Since when did anticipated impending doom ever truly satisfy and excite anyone?
Procrastination of addressing issues or upset should not be your first way of dealing with them effectively.
Catharsis: If You Suppress Your Tears, You Suppress Your Emotions
This is why men who don’t express their emotions—due to fears about their masculinity being questioned—are often the most rageful and unstable.
It’s okay to cry. Crying is good. It’s getting whatever energy is inside you, OUT. Just like gas which needs to be released…otherwise, your belly is going to hurt and make noises of its own.
My Favorite Tool of Catharsis: JOURNALING!
I love journaling*. True journaling is not about having perfectly constructed sentences and expressions. Journaling is allowing your pen/pencil to touch the pad and just allow your hand to write whatever your body needs to get out. It doesn’t have to make sense—it just needs to be an authentic outlet.
The importance of getting out the energy within, to the outside world.
This is how you can easily remove blockages from within, every day.
Your inside world and the outside world are deeply connected. Intimately intertwined. The energy within needs an outlet to be expressed outwardly. Just as all outward experiences, influences your inner state.
The main thing always: keep things moving. Flowing. Always.
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