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Why You Need To Trust Yourself

Surfer · Trust · Self-Trust

Trust. I think it’s very easy to establish the necessity of trust between a friend or especially an intimate romantic partner. But I need to ask, do you trust yourself?

I’m not talking about knowing what you want or what you need. I’m more curious about if you have shown up to be honest, authentic, and sincere—to others, but most importantly, to yourself.

In today’s article, I want to explore why you need to begin building a trusting relationship with yourself. Why trust is an essential part of integrity and courage.

But more importantly…

What Do You Do To Build Trust?

I am of the firm belief that trusting yourself is the only way you can build authentic trust with another. If you can’t rely on yourself, no one else can.

How many times have you broken a promise to yourself? And how many times have you lied about being something you’re not? How much guilt (realized or unrealized) have you carried from your commitment to lies?

Every day we make small and large choices that define who we are. We can say personal affirmations every morning and night. We can tell a potential date about who we are and what we are about. But the most important thing you get to choose is…

Your Actions

It is your actions that bring to life who you actually are. For those who have been the target of and suffered through torture, bullying, discrimination, marginalization—which are very close and intimate to my life—you will find there are two options in this matter.

  1. Your past defines you. 
  2. Your past is a story you’ve overcome.

One would think if a person has suffered through too much they have every excuse to be bitter, angry, vengeful, mean, and simply bad vibes. And in many ways, they do.

However, you can still choose to be the type of person you admire and look up to if that’s how you want to be remembered in this life. 

For me, I’m all about emphasizing the importance of being aware of how I will be remembered and making a conscious choice on how I want to be in this life.

Trust And Integrity

In this previous post, I wrote about how integrity and honesty go hand-in-hand. An excerpt:

“We can’t expect out of others, what we cannot give to ourselves. Integrity and honesty are based on our inner relationship with ourselves.”

By establishing honesty in your life, you can trust yourself—and you build a relationship of integrity with yourself. That is the secret to confidence building.

We Cannot Be Confident If We Are Built On Guilt, Shame, Or Lies

Lies are part of society. But it doesn’t have to be something we get comfortable perpetuating. Some even get by their entire lives lying to others—and sadly, even to themselves.

I want you to vibe fully with this: a person you lie to is not someone you respect. So if you lie to yourself…

Self-love begins by being honest to ourselves. Honesty is what develops our trust in ourselves.

Leaders Trust Themselves & Their Direction

True leaders are an awe to experience. Each time you come in contact with a genuine leader, you are left feeling inspired to explore your limits and push past them. Leaders take responsibility for who they are and how they influence you.

You want to become better—not to boast to others—but because you want to experience your personal best. That’s the power of a true leader: they bring out the best and what you cannot see in yourself.

We gravitate towards people like this because they’ve obtained something elusive that money cannot buy. It’s something which is developed with time.

Be a leader in your own life.

Trust Is Something You Build With Time

To be an honest and trustful person, it isn’t something you turn on or off like a light switch. You just are.

Trust is something like a muscle you build in the gym. It takes patience, time, commitment, focus, sacrifice, and determination to build the result you seek.

You can’t be selective in situations where you will be honest and dishonest. When you become selective in scenarios, the only thing you have mastered is the art of manipulation.

Trusting Yourself And Actions Is Investing In A Life You Will Enjoy Looking Back On

I want you to visualize you are 99 years old in your hospital bed, near the end of your life. Reflect back to this very moment and ask yourself, “How do I want to tell this story to myself one day?”

Will your life be filled with things you wish you could have done? Or will it be filled with the things you have done, and knowing you trusted in yourself that you were committed fully to the most important thing: your life?

Trusting Yourself Gets You Through The Hard Times

When you’ve built yourself to be a reliable and dependable person—to yourself and others—you have a much easier time getting through the difficult and challenging parts of life.

Breakup? If you did the relationship with love, honesty, and integrity, it makes it easier to walk away. Loss of something important to you? You have the confidence knowing you are receptive to other blessings ahead of you to refill that space.

Self-reliance is trusting yourself that you have the capacity to face hard times with dignity and self-respect. Because you have your own back. 

You won’t allow yourself to fail.

Because You’ve Proven You’re Worth It

It’s one thing to tell yourself you’re worth it. And it’s another to prove to yourself you’re worth it.

How? You’re clearly honest to yourself and to others. You know when to walk away when respect is not being served. This builds an inner space within that no one can take away, derange, or disrespect.

It’s in that place of honesty that real love can be built. And that absolutely includes love for yourself. Trust that you can love yourself.

When You Have An Honest Relationship With Yourself, You Enjoy The World Differently

Engaging in the world from an honest place is allowing the outside world the opportunity to connect and build something substantial—something meaningful—with you. The world conspires with you, rather than against you.

We all try to discover our personal meanings every day. In noticeable ways and unconscious ways too.

Giving your outside world the sincere opportunity to build with you, is giving the universe a chance to show you what it’s got. 

This is how we become receptive to abundance all around.


Honesty is what builds trust: with others, and especially with ourselves. When we trust ourselves, we can face challenging situations with dignity and tact. We know what actions to take in response to the circumstance.

When we trust ourselves, we exude our courage from a real place. We need trust in ourselves to make decisions we can stand with. And fully embrace the consequences: good or bad.

When you’re honest and can trust yourself, you are in control of your life. THIS is empowerment and produces the resources for you to win.

Because no matter how difficult or challenging the situation, you always meet yourself on the other side.

Be Honest & Trust Yourself,

– Liana

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Liana Estillore Thorn Relationship Coach Wellness Coach Spiritual Coach

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