The Same Moment, Two Different Stories
Have you ever shared an experience with someone, only to realize later that you both walked away with completely different interpretations? One felt rejected; the other felt overwhelmed. One believed the silence meant anger; the other thought it was peace.
This isn’t just perception—it’s meaning-making in motion, and when left unchecked, it can become distorted meaning that deeply affects your emotional world and relationships. The same event can carry the weight of abandonment for one, and nothingness for another. That’s the power of interpretation—and its risk.
Meaning-making is the invisible lens through which we filter our experiences, constructing stories that define how we feel and relate. It shapes our inner world, coloring our emotions, shaping our self-concept, and guiding how we engage with others. When our meanings are misaligned with those around us, emotional misunderstandings arise, creating rifts where connection could exist.
But this dynamic can also be a profound opportunity. When we become aware that every story is just one version of reality, we open the door to empathy. By recognizing that others’ interpretations are as real to them as ours are to us, we cultivate emotional attunement—the ability to tune in deeply to another’s inner experience.
In relationships, this attunement bridges gaps left by differing stories and forms the foundation of emotional safety, where vulnerability is honored and healing can begin. Understanding meaning-making is not simply an intellectual exercise—it is a pathway to richer, more compassionate connections and a more coherent self.
The Danger of Unchecked Assumptions
Every time something happens—especially something emotionally charged—our brain tries to explain it by assigning meaning. But emotional wounds warp that explanation.
If you grew up feeling unseen, a delayed reply might feel like rejection. If you’ve experienced betrayal, a shift in someone’s tone might feel like disloyalty. These aren’t facts—they’re projections, shaped by wounds.
Furthermore, one must be aware of confirmation bias: the things we seek in our external world to confirm beliefs. This habit is to separate us from the work of challenging these stored beliefs & stories that confirm “us”–who we believe ourselves to be.
According to Thais Gibson, many of us operate from “wounded narratives”—where meaning is assigned not from the moment, but from unresolved pain. Assumptions become armor, but that armor can isolate us from truth and intimacy.
How Childhood Meaning-Making Persists
Much of our distorted meaning stems from the past—especially childhood.
Integrative Attachment Theory (IAT) explains that our earliest experiences with caregivers teach us what to expect from others and ourselves. These expectations become subconscious filters. If love felt conditional, you might later believe, “If I’m not perfect, I’ll be left.” If emotions were ignored, you might assume, “My feelings don’t matter.”
These beliefs aren’t current, but they color the present. Until we question them, they keep us stuck in outdated scripts.
If love and acceptance felt conditional in childhood, you may carry the belief, “If I’m not perfect, I’ll be abandoned.” If your emotions were ignored or invalidated, you might unconsciously assume, “My feelings don’t matter.” These beliefs are not necessarily true in your adult life, but they continue to color your perceptions and emotional responses.
Emotional Literacy as a Corrective Tool
So, how do we break free from distorted meaning?
The first step is emotional literacy—the ability to name and feel your emotions without judgment. When we don’t have words for our feelings, we project them onto others. But when we label them—”I’m feeling hurt,” “I’m scared of being left out”—we create space between emotion and meaning.
This space is everything.
As Viktor Frankl said:
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space… in that space is our power to choose our response.”
Learning to pause and feel helps us choose new meaning—one that reflects the present, not just the past.
Reclaiming Meaning Through Mindfulness: How Meditation is A Powerful Tool
Mindfulness is more than meditation—it’s noticing without judgment. When you become aware of your thoughts and sensations, you step outside the auto-response of distorted meaning.
Here are some mindful techniques to interrupt unhealthy interpretation loops:
- Grounding practice:
Feel your feet on the floor, take 3 deep breaths, and name 3 things you see. Come back to now.
- 4-7-8 Breath:
Popularized by Dr. Andrew Weil, and my mentor (I gained professional certification from the University of Arizona’s Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine). This method incorporates mindfulness to the breath–which is a safe place to put your awareness. Check out this powerful video that I often suggest to friends, colleagues, and clients. - Reframing:
Ask yourself, “What else could this mean?” or “Is this coming from now or from my past?” My most helpful tip: “Life is happening for you, not to you.” One personalizes the universe as an attack towards you. The other positions you as a student of life, emotions will come, but just like clouds in the sky: they move on and dissipates.
- Journaling prompt:
“What story am I telling myself about this, and is it 100% true?” “What are the meanings I am attaching to this experience? What am I saying about my worth?”
Healing begins when you stop believing every thought and start choosing the ones that serve your growth.
One of my favorite books on the topic is “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer.
Ready to Release the Weight of Distorted Meaning?
You don’t have to keep living in a story written by pain, trauma, or fear. At Liana Vibes, we help you uncover the subconscious meanings holding you back—and guide you toward a more empowered, truth-aligned inner narrative.
Start your healing journey today.
Visit lianavibes.com or follow us on Instagram for daily inspiration and emotional clarity. Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, Liana Vibes is a certified life coach dedicated to helping facilitate your inner empowerment.
Your story isn’t over—it’s just waiting to be rewritten.
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