The last update ever on this website was back in April 2021. There are many reasons to this hiatus. I needed to heal. Healing was more important than ever in my life—I went through a tragic experience which left me belittled, bruised, and questioning my existence.
What happened? Loss. Loss of a family member, loss of a marriage, and loss of a sense of security. It’s interesting now looking back at it all.
More interesting is how healing became everything to me. I thought I knew what healing was (totally an expert with my resiliency, meditation, training in Integrative Medicine, vast books, and saved/bookmarked Youtube videos on healing). I found along the way, that healing isn’t what you think. In fact, it’s so much more.
There are 5 reasons why healing is powerful. And by the end of this, I hope I piqued your curiosity on why YOU should dedicate every effort towards healing.
1. Healing Is The Best Revenge Against A Narcissist
I didn’t know it at the time, but I had been manipulated by narcissistic people the majority of my life. The big “N-word”: Narcissist. You can find them in almost every family, workplace, and everyday life.
In fact, the expert on the topic—Dr. Ramini—was a lifesaver in teaching and learning about Narcissistic people. While it’s still a growing field, she argues that today’s society & social media has encouraged the growth of narcissistic people.
Now, every person has narcissistic tendencies (the desire for recognition, validation, etc.). However, true narcissistic people have very weak empathy and very high insecurity. But they could never allow you to see this part of themselves. Instead, they project, never take accountability, and will blame YOU.
It’s an age-old pattern that didn’t start with you and won’t end with you.
Healing is the best revenge against a narcissist because by healing, you unlearn the patterns which attracted and committed you to a toxic person in the first place—so you learn to not do it again.
Most people attracted to or manipulated by a narcissist often have insecure attachment styles: anxious-preoccupied, fearful avoidant, and/or is codependent.
Your best “karmic revenge” isn’t spending effort in making a toxic person miss you. Healing is intentionally going after the peace of not being motivated by them or proving something to them. You are healed when you don’t allow their past abuse to define you in the present or influence your choices toward self-harm/self-destruction.
You will get there.
Toxic narcissistic people DO NOT CHANGE. They refuse to heal. They will never know anything outside their harmful behavior. The gift from this experience—is you heal. They don’t get access to you, your glow up, your healing, your success, or your health. Remember, this is a long game, a long investment…and YOU win. Healing is simply the intentional change in a positive direction.
2. Healing Is Uncomfortable
Healing is painful, scary, and challenging. It’s uncomfortable. Greatly uncomfortable. It forces you to have accountability—accountability for your behavior; but also holding others accountable for who they are.
Accountability is not something toxic people can do. They struggle and often fail huge on it. Their greatest fear is admitting they have a flaw. Especially their emotional stuntedness, from years of neglect and emotional atrophy.
It’s a hidden truth of toxic people. Though they may have moments of “accountability”, it’s more like a performance than derived from actual vulnerability. Remember, toxic people DO NOT HEAL, therefore the onus of change is always on you. Toxic people perform for themselves and the world.
They “perform” accountability. They perform empathy. They perform vulnerability. Toxic people have great insecurity. They are the most unhealed.
Sadly, they will never do the uncomfortable responsibility of healing. Why? Because the problem is always YOU—in their world.
3. Healing Cleans Up Historical Family Trauma
The nasty thing about trauma is that it’s passed on from person-to-person. Like a deadly virus. But it has a total effect on your body, mind, AND soul (if you believe in that).
Healing frees you to see the repeated patterns passed down in families. Responsibility and accountability are 2 major ingredients of healing.
It may not have been your responsibility for the previous person’s abuse, but it’s your responsibility for recognizing it for what it is—someone else’s unhealed sh*t, not yours.
As you heal, you will find you’re not only healing yourself…but doing the healing work others simply cannot do. This makes it that more painful when it comes from family history.
I was once told, “Blood makes you related, who you would spill blood for makes you family.” I discovered within my own family system, that there are individuals with biological relatedness. But I held their biological association to me to such high regard…not realizing this individual was more toxic than any of the strangers who bullied & tortured me growing up as a child.
This is the scary thing. You might often think “family first”, but having known many individuals who rely & lean on Chosen Family—don’t hang biological relatedness over your head when it comes to healing.
Your baseline should always be based on a person’s character, accountability, responsibility, and consistency.
4. Consistency Is Healing…It’s What We Call RESILIENCY
Resiliency. Yeah. That. I have often admired resilient people. I admired how much it seemed like they “don’t care”. Powerful. Enigmatic. That “Jé nais se qouis”.
What I found interesting is resilient and truly confident people actually care. They care A LOT. They care a lot about their values, their truth, their experiences, & expansiveness.
And if you’re healing, you have to care A LOT about what you’ve survived through. Sometimes it’s easier to gloss over and minimize your experiences (a coping mechanism). Sometimes by not gassing things up, it’s easier to swallow what we’ve been through. It allows us to be in a daze of denial that we equate to safety and comfort.
But the true gift is accepting and embracing your experiences. Because healing is getting into the mindset, “Life is happening FOR you, not TO you.” One plays the victim, the other a student.
There are some really cruel, f*cked-up things that happen in life. I’m the first to know some of the most horrific things people can do to a person—I survived through some greatly unspeakable things.
What I found in my healing is that commitment to consistency is key. It’s okay to feel sad, depressed, lonely, misunderstood, forever different, etc. Surprisingly, this will serve you later on. How? By allowing you to deeply connect with others who “have been through it”, who’ve “been there”.
Along your healing journey, you’ll discover how NOT alone you are.
5. Pain Is Subjective, And Then Again, It’s Not
Individuals will react to pain differently based on their subjective experience. Variables such as how your brain registers pain to the hypersensitivity of your nerves all play a factor. We can argue pain is subjective, but then again, it’s not.
Because the pain felt by individuals across the world is universal. For example, a parent who lost a child in Asia is not superior or inferior to the loss felt by a parent who lost their child in America.
Pain is a universal language…as much as happiness is. The only other important factor is the amount of EMPATHY one has. Without empathy, people can do atrocious behaviors that hurt at a massive level (terrorism, racism, etc.), yet justify it under the beliefs which were passed to them.
Trauma is passed on as much as bigotry is.
Healing means challenging all of this. Healing relieves your pain by inspiring you to DO SOMETHING. Mostly, it means subtracting something.
When you heal, you will be creating new spaces in your life. For more evolved and higher-level experiences IF YOU HEAL.
The past year I had to do a lot of healing. I subtracted people who revealed exactly who they are to their core and others who exhibited narcissistic & dismissive-avoidant attachment styles—which in turn activated my anxious-preoccupied & co-dependent feelings. I habituated and thought the constant need of keeping them “happy” at the total expense of myself and having my basic emotional needs fully neglected, which led to a desperate need for their validation, believing it would make me happy. It didn’t.
However, in spite of all of this, the subtraction of these individuals allowed me to do the work they never could. I finally see very clearly who they are…and who I am.
The beauty about healing is those toxic people will only remember and ruminate about a PREVIOUS VERSION OF YOU. Something which no longer exists. As you heal, you evolve. And evolution of self is powerful. Also, healing allows you to not fall back on old “comfort patterns” which are just your triggers wanting to be healed with/through another person. To rewrite old wrongs.
Yes, it’s often very easy for those who have been abused to go straight back into new abusive situations. But you must be vigilant. Therapy is important in healing. It allows for an unbiased opinion, and where the magic of asking deep uncomfortable questions can be asked without fear of a relationship (friendship, intimate, business, etc.) ending.
What did I find on this journey of healing? My power. I discovered why I previously attracted myself to those narcissistic dismissive-avoidant types. They are what they are. I know now where that attraction originated from. And maybe it was a lesson I would need to learn in this life so I can taste true freedom.
Exactly a year ago, I thought my heart would forever be broken. What I thought was me breaking was actually a break-THROUGH. After dedicated seriously to intense healing, I never would have imagined the experiences which took place.
I was blessed. Travel, new experiences, advancements in my career, my health improved, my physicality whole, I gained access to complete specific necessities in life, I moved away from my home base, and every goal I envisioned became true. Big goals, small goals, and those nuanced gifts in between. I even found myself in a much happier, healthier, and more impressive relationship that I can truly call “home”.
Life is interesting…if you make it to be so. Healing allows different perspectives to your story. And it’s in that which you can do the largest piece of healing:
I hope you are all well. Stay well & vibe well.
Great article, just what I needed.
I am glad it has helped you! Continue to stay tuned. And let me know if there are any topics you’d like to me expand on!
Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your
point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why waste your
intelligence on just posting videos to your blog
when you could be giving us something enlightening
Thank you! I appreciate you stopping by. Yes, my beginning is blogging. I came into video format to reach a larger audience. But I will always go back to writing as that is my cornerstone method.
I’d like to find out more? I’d want to find out some additional information.
Thank you! Yes, absolutely. Please feel free to use the contact form for more personalized answer.
Hello! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a collection of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche.
Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You have done a extraordinary job!
Thank you! I appreciate you visiting and your support! I hope to continue providing quality content. Please stay tuned for more updates!
Hi there, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and
i was just curious if you get a lot of spam remarks?
If so how do you protect against it, any plugin or anything you can recommend?
I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any assistance is very much appreciated.
My spouse and I stumbled over here from a different
page and thought I might as well check things out. I like what I see so now i’m following you.
Look forward to looking over your web page yet again.
No matter if some one searches for his vital thing, thus he/she wishes to be available that in detail, so that thing is maintained over here.
Hey I am so happy I found your blog, I really found you by error, while I was browsing on Digg for something
else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a
tremendous post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to
browse it all at the minute but I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds,
so when I have time I will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the awesome
Touche. Great arguments. Keep up the good spirit.
I appreciate it! Thank you. I hope you visit again.
It’s actually a great and helpful piece of info.
I’m glad that you just shared this helpful info with
us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you! I appreciate you stopping by and engaging! Stay tuned for more. Please also follow: https://www.instagram.com/liana.vibes
Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home
a bit, but other than that, this is wonderful blog. A great read.
I will certainly be back.
thanks Great article
I appreciate it, thank you!
– Liana Vibes
thanks I am at the look for such information
thanks this article is amazing
Your commment is welcomed and appreciated. – Liana
My spouse and I stumbled over here different page and thought I might check things out.
I like what I see so now i am following you. Look forward to checking out your web page for a
Your comment is appreciated and welcomed! I hope to continue adding the value of insight and perspective. Please stay tuned!
Your style is unique compared to other people I have read
stuff from. Thank you for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I’ll just book mark this page.
Thank you! I appreciate your wonderful and warm comment.
Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
I think that you can do with some pics to drive the
message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is excellent blog.
An excellent read. I’ll certainly be back.
Thank you! I appreciate you reading and engaging with my website. You can find more of my visual content at: https://www.instagram.com/liana.vibes
Stay tuned for upcoming content!
Hi, this weekend is nice for me, for the reason that this point
in time i am reading this great informative post here at my residence.
I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is required to get setup?
I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% certain. Any recommendations
or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
Hi there Dear, are you really visiting this web page daily, if
so then you will without doubt take nice experience.
Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thanks, However I am experiencing issues with your RSS.
I don’t understand why I am unable to subscribe to it.
Is there anybody else getting the same RSS issues?
Anyone who knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanx!!
Good information. Lucky me I ran across your site by accident (stumbleupon).
I’ve saved as a favorite for later!
Holymoly that’s crazy man! Thank you so much I really appreciate for this man. Can i give my
secrets on change your life and if you want to have a glance?
I will definitly share info about how to find hot girls
for free I will be the one showing values from
OMG! This is amazing. Ireally appreciate it~ May I show true love on a secret only I
KNOW and if you want to really findout? You really have to believe mme and
have faith and I will show how to learn SNS marketing Once again I want to show my appreciation and
may all the blessing goes to you now!.
Wow, wonderful blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is
great, let alone the content!
I have read so many content concerning the blogger lovers however this piece
of writing is really a good piece of writing, keep
Hey! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so I came
to look it over. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers!
Excellent blog and amazing style and design.
I appreciate you stopping by to read my insights. I hope it was helpful!
Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as long as I provide credit
and sources back to your blog? My blog is in the very same area of interest as yours
and my users would certainly benefit from some of the information you present here.
Please let me know if this alright with you.
That would be wonderful! I appreciate you reading and hope it was helpful. Please feel welcome to quote and source me.
I every time used to read article in news papers
but now as I am a user of web thus from now I am using net for content, thanks to web.