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What The Loss of Love Can Teach Us

Heart Flying Away Loss

What can the loss of love teach us? Through this adventure of life, we will encounter our moments with another to discover and share the meaning of intimacy and companionship.

And even in some of the most cherished parts of those experiences, they come to an end. Loss…it’s not easy, and it hurts. The type of hurt that is paralyzing. Soul crushing.

And knowing the 5-stages of grief doesn’t help. All we want is to fast forward to the final stage. 

Today I would like to focus on what the loss of love can teach us.

We Learn Who We Return To: Ourselves

Learning about ourselves is the gift of life. Scientists and researchers, civilizations at large, all investigate the ends of the universe with fascination, wonder, and awe. We are determined as a species to make sense of the world around us.

But the most fascinating part of the universe is: you.

The loss of love—a relationship—forces us to meet and reacquaint ourselves. Now our days are no longer spent with a partner, but with ourselves.

Through the Loss of Love: We Begin the Precursor of Self-Worth

It’s in this time alone, we are reminded of the softness and gentleness of who we are. We meet the parts of ourselves that are vulnerable. This is not weakness—but a request from our deeper selves, to love the softest and vulnerable parts.

It’s in these moments, we get to show up for ourselves, and love. This is the precursor of self-esteem and self-worth.

The Loss of Love: Teaches Us How to Be a Better Partner

Relationships take two people investing, committing, loving, communicating, and utilizing their personal individual skills. The skills which they’ve picked up along the way.

No one is “perfect”. But we are constantly trying, learning, and perfecting. Some couples are able to do so together. And some part ways, with the lessons, learned, and if they use the experience gracefully—become wiser and more prepared for a future relationship.

Invest in yourself during this time of loss. Your future self will thank you.

* Try this. It’s helped me in a past breakup.

Impressions Are Everywhere

For couples who ended amicably, and gave each other closure, they individually feel the impressions of their past relationship all around. They carry the pieces of their past, in their heart and it’s projected everywhere and anywhere.

They find that love in the small moments: it can be walking down the street and the memory of holding hands; sitting down in a green park with cascading mountains in the distance; or when they sit at a table eating their favorite meal.

And Impressions Can Also Be Haunting

Couples who ended on very bad terms—betrayal, abuse, etc.—will be haunted by their previous relationship. They assume they miss their ex-partner, but what they are really missing: is their self.

It’s hard when you lose yourself. But rediscovery is the gift you give yourself. The gift which keeps on giving. Be kind to yourself during this time. Be patient with your healing journey. There is no “time schedule” you are supposed to be on.

Even With Loss: You Will Love Again

Remember from this post, love is not “out there”, but resides deep within. It’s the special people who are conduits that bring to the surface your love from deep within.

During the time of loss, your love retreats back deep into yourself. It’s upon your duty to do self-care and self-love during this time to recharge it. It almost feels like your world is going to crack, and the pain is unbearable. But don’t fret—the process is your heart reclaiming itself.

Because The Strongest Are Forged Through Painful Moments

Painful moments really suck going through. But when we arise on the other side, we are not the same person. When utilized properly, painful moments are the energy that backs your future strength.

You may not feel strong now…but if you allow yourself to push past the pain, that’s where you’ll find your strength.

Most importantly, during this time, honor the times of the past that are cherished. Let these be the building blocks towards your future. Forgive your past partner, forgive yourself. Now is the time to really love—love yourself.

Be gentle and kind,

– Liana


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